It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so I thought I'd take a minute to remind you about boobs. Boobs are great! They fill out our favorite shirts, get us out of speeding tickets, and make us feel super-sexy in the Victoria's Secret teddy's we bought during their winter clearance sale. But do you know what isn't great about boobs? They're prone to getting cancer. Now, we've all been told about the dangers and effects of cancer, but no one really tells you about the effect it can have on your social life- Especially your sex life.
So strap yourselves in, because you're about to get hit with the harsh reality of what will happen to your love life if you don't check your boobs on a regular basis!
Shitty Things Breast Cancer Does To Your Sex Life
Low Libido
The biggest side effect breast cancer has on your sex life, is that you simply don't want one! Your body shuts down the endorphins you get when you have sex, so instead of feeling amazing while you do it, you feel like you're doing a chore. You don't get pleasure when you put a toothbrush in your mouth, and now you won't get pleasure when you put a P in your V.
Fatigue
You know those long days where you get home from work, fix your kids dinner, get them ready for bed, do the rest of the work you catch up on, then have to drag yourself up to bed? And you know how little you feel like having sex when you're that tired? Imagine being that tired all. the. time. Even when you've done nothing but lay down all day, you're still that tired. Chances are you won't have the energy to have sex. And we're not just talking about on that Thursday night of what seemed like the longest week ever. We're talking all the time. You'll generally be just to damn tired to bang.
Vaginal Dryness
Instead of feeling like the hot insert-your-age-here year old you are, you'll feel like a dried up grandmother downstairs. Not only will it feel uncomfortable to have sex like that, but because you're not producing natural lube, it's likely to be painful for both of you.
Breast Appearance
You know those days when you feel like your body looks weird and you just don't want the guy you're dating to see you naked? Well imagine how you would feel if your boobs had giant scars across them. Or they didn't have nipples. Or your boobs were missing all together.
Obviously there are more important reasons to check your breasts than your sex life, but whatever your reason is, get checked early and get checked often!
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